Email 電郵

進階

Subject + greeting + body + closing。

適合:中五英國語文 · 單元:寫作 · 建議學習路徑第 10/17 課

學完呢課,你會識:
  • 電郵四件套:Subject + Dear 稱謂 + 正文 + 結尾署名。
  • Subject 一行講清目的,收件人不用開信都知道你寫什麼。
  • 請求要配目的(為哪個籌款、做什麼),不要只說「我想辦」。
文體:Writing有聲朗讀

文體小知識:Formal/informal email.

作者

英國語文English Language

§課文原文 Passage

1Subject: Second-hand Book Stall at the School Fun Fair Dear Ms Lee, I am writing to seek your approval for our class to run a second-hand book stall at the school fun fair. Our aim is to raise funds for the elderly home we visited last month. I am sure you still remember how much the residents enjoyed our visit. As you know, our class has run similar activities successfully before. This year's fun fair will take place on the fifteenth of December.

2We plan to collect used books from classmates during the first week of next month. We hope to collect at least three hundred books. Four committee members will be responsible for pricing, display and sales. We will sort the books into categories such as novels, comics and textbooks. Any books that remain unsold will be given to a charity, so nothing goes to waste.

3All profits will be donated to the Po Leung Kuk, and a full record of transactions will be kept. We would also be grateful if you could help us book a table near the main entrance. We would also like to invite you to open the stall at 9 a.m. A poster will be put up on the noticeboard two weeks before the event. We will also take photos and share them on the school website afterwards.

4Please let us know if any adjustments are needed. We are happy to meet you during lunch break if it is more convenient. Thank you for considering our proposal. Thank you once again for your kind support and guidance. Yours sincerely, Ivan Cheung, Class 5A

§逐句中文翻譯 Sentence-by-sentence translation

Subject: Second-hand Book Stall at the School Fun Fair

主題:學校嘉年華二手書攤位

Dear Ms Lee,

李老師:

I am writing to seek your approval for our class to run a second-hand book stall at the school fun fair.

我寫信想徵求你批准我們班在學校嘉年華開設一個二手書攤位。

Our aim is to raise funds for the elderly home we visited last month.

目的是為上月探訪的老人院籌款。

I am sure you still remember how much the residents enjoyed our visit.

我相信你還記得院友見到我們時有多開心。

As you know, our class has run similar activities successfully before.

你知道,我們班以前成功辦過類似活動。

This year's fun fair will take place on the fifteenth of December.

今年的嘉年華會在十二月十五日舉行。

We plan to collect used books from classmates during the first week of next month.

我們計劃下月第一週向同學收集舊書。

We hope to collect at least three hundred books.

我們希望收到至少三百本書。

Four committee members will be responsible for pricing, display and sales.

四個幹事會負責定價、陳列與銷售。

We will sort the books into categories such as novels, comics and textbooks.

我們會將這些書按小說、漫畫、教科書等分類。

Any books that remain unsold will be given to a charity, so nothing goes to waste.

沒有賣出的書會捐給慈善機構,不會浪費。

All profits will be donated to the Po Leung Kuk, and a full record of transactions will be kept.

所有收益會捐給保良局,並備存完整交易紀錄。

We would also be grateful if you could help us book a table near the main entrance.

如果你可以幫我們預訂大門口附近的桌子,我們就更加感激。

We would also like to invite you to open the stall at 9 a.m.

我們還想邀請你在早上九點為攤位開幕。

A poster will be put up on the noticeboard two weeks before the event.

活動前兩星期會在告示板貼海報。

We will also take photos and share them on the school website afterwards.

活動後我們還會拍照放上學校網站分享。

Please let us know if any adjustments are needed.

如有任何需要調整的地方,請讓我們知道。

We are happy to meet you during lunch break if it is more convenient.

如果方便,我們很樂意在午飯時間與你見面。

Thank you for considering our proposal.

感謝你考慮我們的建議。

Thank you once again for your kind support and guidance.

再次感謝你一直的支持與指導。

Yours sincerely, Ivan Cheung, Class 5A

5A 班張偉文敬上

1重點摘要 Summary

Subject + greeting + body + closing。

2生字卡 Vocabulary

e
email名詞

電郵。

s
subject名詞

標題。

g
greeting名詞

問候。

b
body名詞

主體。

c
closing名詞

結尾。

a
attachment名詞

附件。

f
forward動詞

轉寄。

r
reply動詞

回覆。

3逐步講解 Steps

  1. 標題電郵 Subject 行的考點是一行講清目的。方法是用名詞短語概括事項。以範文為例:Second-hand Book Stall at the School Fun Fair,收件人未開信已知道內容主題。易錯之處是學生留空主旨,或只寫 Question 一類含糊字眼;正式電郵的主旨是格式分與實用分的交匯,讓對方在收件匣一眼分清輕重緩急,這既是禮貌也是效率,寫作前應先擬好主旨再展開正文,主旨定了,全文便有了一條主軸。
  2. 問候問候語的考點是與結尾語配套。方法按姓名認知分兩路:知道姓名用 Dear Ms Lee,結尾配 Yours sincerely;不知道姓名用 Dear Sir or Madam,結尾配 Yours faithfully。以範文為例,Ivan 認得老師姓名,全信以 Dear Ms Lee 開頭。易錯之處有二:正式電郵誤用 Hi 甚至加 emoji;結尾語與開頭不配套。兩組搭配須當作一套記憶,拆開使用即屬格式錯誤,這是電郵題最穩定的送分位,也是最容易的失分位。
  3. 主體電郵主體的考點是分段簡潔、一段一事。方法是按請求、目的、計劃的次序分段。以範文為例:首段提出申請攤位,目的為上月探訪的老人院籌款;隨後段落交代下月第一週收書、目標三百本、四名幹事分工負責定價、分類與擺賣。易錯之處是學生把所有資訊塞進一段,或段落之間重複;收件人時間有限,每段開首一句點明主題,對方掃一眼便能掌握全貌,分段清晰本身就是效率的表現。
  4. 結尾電郵結尾的考點是明確下一步與完整署名。方法以請求回覆的句子收尾,加上致謝與署名。以範文為例:Please let us know if any adjustments are needed,接着 Thank you for considering our proposal,最後 Yours sincerely, Ivan Cheung, Class 5A,姓名班別齊全。易錯之處是學生結尾突兀,讀完計劃便直接署名;告訴對方下一步與致謝,是正式書信的收尾禮儀,亦顯示合作的誠意,署名須寫全名與班別。
  5. 預答疑慮預先解答對方疑慮是電郵的高階技巧,考點是站在審批者角度思考。方法是列出對方可能反對的理由,逐一在信中化解。以範文為例:賣不出的書捐給慈善機構,nothing goes to waste;收入全數捐給保良局;所有交易備有紀錄,誠信與秩序的疑慮一次過消除。易錯之處是學生只講自己的計劃,不替對方着想;老師審批時最關心風險,先答風險的信最易獲批,這是說服力的關鍵設計,亦是範文最值得學習的一步。
  6. 附加請求附加請求的考點是謙遜的措辭。方法是以問題形式提出,給對方選擇空間。以範文為例:能否協助預訂攤位桌子、邀請老師早上九時主持開攤、提議午飯時間見面商量,三項皆是商量口吻而非命令。易錯之處是學生以 I want you to... 直接指使對方;正式電郵中每段只放一個小請求,並用 could 與 would 開頭,姿態謙和反而更易如願,這是電郵禮儀的核心,請求的姿態往往決定對方的回應意願。
  7. 跟進計劃交代跟進計劃能令對方放心批准,考點是展示事前準備與事後交代。方法是寫明宣傳與匯報安排。以範文為例:活動兩星期前在佈告板張貼海報,活動後把相片放上學校網站,整個活動有宣傳、有交帶。易錯之處是學生只談活動本身,審批者看不到後續安排便擔心失控;跟進計劃令建議顯得成熟可靠,是申請類電郵常被忽略的加分位,審批者要的不只是好主意,更是可落實、可監察的計劃。

5例題示範 Example

範文是 5A 班 Ivan 向 Ms Lee 申請在學校嘉年華辦二手書攤位的電郵。拆解 Subject、請求方式,和怎樣令老師放心批准。

  1. 第一步:Subject 一行講清目的:「Second-hand Book Stall at the School Fun Fair」——收件人不用開信都知道主題。
  2. 第二步:開段講清請求和目的:申請攤位、為上個月探訪的老人院籌款,還提示對方記得探訪——建立關係。
  3. 第三步:計劃具體:下月第一週收書、目標三百本、四名幹事負責定價、分類、擺賣。
  4. 第四步:預先解答疑慮:賣不出的書捐慈善機構、收入全數捐保良局、所有交易有紀錄——誠信透明。
  5. 第五步:提出兩個小請求(訂桌、邀請開攤),還說可以 lunch break 見面調整——姿態謙遜。
  6. 答案:這封正式電郵示範怎樣寫到令對方樂意講 yes。Subject「Second-hand Book Stall at the School Fun Fair」一目了然。首段講請求和目的——為探訪過的老人院籌款,還喚起 Ms Lee 對探訪的記憶。計劃具體:第一週收書、目標三百本、四名幹事分工、書籍分類。最出色是預先解答老師疑慮:賣剩的書捐慈善機構、利潤全數捐保良局、交易有完整紀錄——誠信一次過過關。尾段提出訂桌和邀請開攤兩個小請求,還主動說可以午飯時間見面商量。因為知道對方姓名(Dear Ms Lee),所以用 Yours sincerely 收結。

6常見錯誤 Mistakes

✗ 沒有標題
✓ Subject: 要清楚
✗ 太長
✓ 電郵要簡短
✗ 沒有結尾
✓ Best regards, 加名
✗ 用 emoji
✓ 正式 email 不要用 emoji

76 題快測 Quick check

Q1電郵格式?

Q2標題?

Q3正式問候?

Q4非正式問候?

Q5正式結尾?

Q6非正式結尾?

8重點回顧 Recap

  • 電郵四件套:Subject + Dear 稱謂 + 正文 + 結尾署名。
  • Subject 一行講清目的,收件人不用開信都知道你寫什麼。
  • 請求要配目的(為哪個籌款、做什麼),不要只說「我想辦」。
  • 預先解答對方疑慮(錢去向、剩貨處理、有沒有紀錄)最加分。
  • 知姓名用 Dear Ms Lee + Yours sincerely;不知道才用 Dear Sir/Madam。

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