Letter to the Editor 給編輯的信

進階

意見 + 原因 + 建議。

適合:中五英國語文 · 單元:寫作 · 建議學習路徑第 7/17 課

學完呢課,你會識:
  • 給編輯的信公式:Dear Editor + 議題 → 證據 → 體諒 → 建議 → Yours faithfully。
  • Dear Editor 不知姓名,所以一定配 Yours faithfully。
  • 證據要具體:哪個站、等多久、見到什麼,畫面越真越有力。
文體:Writing有聲朗讀

文體小知識:Opinion letter.

作者

英國語文English Language

§課文原文 Passage

1Dear Editor, I am writing to express my concern about the severe overcrowding on morning MTR trains. Every weekday before eight o'clock, platforms along the East Rail Line are packed with students and workers. Passengers are sometimes forced to let three or four trains pass before they can board. This not only causes stress but also makes many people late for school and work. We deserve a safe and comfortable journey, just like passengers in other cities.

2Last Tuesday I waited twenty minutes at Tai Po Market Station. When a train finally arrived, the doors could hardly close, and a girl almost fainted. Elderly passengers and pregnant women stand no chance in such a crowd. On that morning, I saw a man in a suit give up and take a taxi instead. Some students now leave home an hour early simply to avoid the worst crush. The situation becomes even worse on rainy days, when everyone carries an umbrella.

3I understand that train frequency cannot be increased overnight. However, the MTR Corporation could introduce more peak-hour services and stagger school starting times. It could also widen platforms and add more staff to guide passengers during rush hour. Schools in the same district might share a timetable so that students travel at different times. Even small improvements would show that the company cares about commuters.

4If these measures were taken, morning journeys would be far more pleasant for everyone. I hope the authorities will look into this matter before the situation gets worse. Thank you for giving space to this issue, which affects thousands of families every day. Yours faithfully, Chris Wong

§逐句中文翻譯 Sentence-by-sentence translation

Dear Editor,

編輯先生:

I am writing to express my concern about the severe overcrowding on morning MTR trains.

我寫信是為了表達我對早上港鐵嚴重擠迫的關注。

Every weekday before eight o'clock, platforms along the East Rail Line are packed with students and workers.

每個平日八點之前,東鐵綫沿線月台都擠滿學生與上班族。

Passengers are sometimes forced to let three or four trains pass before they can board.

乘客有時被迫看着三四班車開走,都上不了車。

This not only causes stress but also makes many people late for school and work.

這樣不僅造成壓力,還令許多人上學上班遲到。

We deserve a safe and comfortable journey, just like passengers in other cities.

我們值得有一個安全舒適的車程,與其他城市的乘客一樣。

Last Tuesday I waited twenty minutes at Tai Po Market Station.

上星期二,我在大埔墟站等了二十分鐘。

When a train finally arrived, the doors could hardly close, and a girl almost fainted.

終於有班車到站,車門幾乎關不上,有個女生還差點暈倒。

Elderly passengers and pregnant women stand no chance in such a crowd.

長者與孕婦在這樣的人潮裡面根本毫無機會。

On that morning, I saw a man in a suit give up and take a taxi instead.

那天早上我見到有位穿西裝的男士放棄了,改乘的士。

Some students now leave home an hour early simply to avoid the worst crush.

有些學生現在提早一小時出門,就是為了避開最擠迫的時段。

The situation becomes even worse on rainy days, when everyone carries an umbrella.

下雨的日子更糟,人人都拿着雨傘。

I understand that train frequency cannot be increased overnight.

我明白班次不可能一夜之間加密。

However, the MTR Corporation could introduce more peak-hour services and stagger school starting times.

不過,港鐵公司可以加開繁忙時段班次,學校亦可錯開上課時間。

It could also widen platforms and add more staff to guide passengers during rush hour.

他們亦可以擴闊月台,加派人手在繁忙時間疏導乘客。

Schools in the same district might share a timetable so that students travel at different times.

同區學校可以共用時間表,令學生在不同時段搭車。

Even small improvements would show that the company cares about commuters.

就算是小改善,都證明公司關心乘客。

If these measures were taken, morning journeys would be far more pleasant for everyone.

如果採取這些措施,大家的早上車程會舒服得多。

I hope the authorities will look into this matter before the situation gets worse.

希望當局在情況惡化之前跟進這件事。

Thank you for giving space to this issue, which affects thousands of families every day.

感謝你給篇幅關注這個每日影響幾千個家庭的問題。

Yours faithfully, Chris Wong

讀者黃志明敬上

1重點摘要 Summary

意見 + 原因 + 建議。

2生字卡 Vocabulary

e
editor名詞

編輯。

o
opinion名詞

意見。

i
issue名詞

議題。

s
suggestion名詞

建議。

c
concern名詞

關注。

D
Dear稱謂

編輯。

Y
Yours結語

敬上。

p
publish動詞

刊登。

3逐步講解 Steps

  1. 開頭讀者來信的開頭有固定公式,考點是一句定位議題。方法是以 Dear Editor 開頭,首段一句講清議題與影響。以範文為例:I am writing to express my concern about the severe overcrowding on morning MTR trains,議題是東鐵早上擠迫,影響是壓力與遲到,一句講完。易錯之處是學生開段先講個人故事,議題到第三段才出現;編輯與讀者都沒有耐性,定位句必須放在第一段,這是議論信的第一準則,定位早,全文的方向便清晰。
  2. 主體主體的考點是證據、體諒與建議三步推進。方法是證據必須具體:時間、地點、細節。以範文為例:大埔墟站等候二十分鐘、車門幾乎無法關上、有女學生幾乎暈倒,畫面遠勝空講好迫;再以 I understand that train frequency cannot be increased overnight 一句表示體諒,令建議聽來務實而非苛責。易錯之處是學生只顧投訴,證據空泛又不留餘地;具體事例加體諒語,是來信被接納的關鍵配搭,畫面感就是說服力。
  3. 結尾結尾的考點是期待行動並拉闊格局。方法先明確表達希望,再把議題提升至公共層面。以範文為例:I hope the authorities will look into this matter,再補 which affects thousands of families every day,個人投訴升格為千家萬戶的公共議題;因為 Dear Editor 不知對方姓名,結尾必須用 Yours faithfully。易錯之處是學生在知與不知姓名的判斷上出錯,誤用 Yours sincerely;結尾語與稱謂必須配套,這是格式分的固定項目,錯了便沒得補。
  4. 語氣議論信語氣的考點是禮貌而堅定。方法是以 concern、suggest、hope 一類詞表達立場,杜絕侮辱性字眼。以範文為例,全文批評擠迫問題卻無一句惡言,立場清晰而不失風度。易錯之處有兩端:一是語氣過火,貶詞令建議失焦;二是過分客氣,什麼都同意,立場模糊。讀者來信的說服力來自克制的批評與清晰的訴求,兩者須同時存在,缺一便失去平衡,語氣是議論信的隱形評分項。
  5. 建議分層建議的考點是具體分層。方法是把方案按可行性排列,每項都須是機構真正做得到的。以範文為例:加密繁忙時段班次、錯開各校上課時間、擴闊月台並增加人手、讓同區學校共享時間表,四項建議針對不同層面,港鐵與教育局各自有可執行的項目。易錯之處是學生建議空泛,例如應該改善服務一句帶過;建議的具體程度決定來信的說服力,寫作前宜先想想機構的實際限制,分層的建議顯示思考的深度。
  6. 兼顧反方高分來信須兼顧反方難處,考點是呈現全局視野。方法是先承認對方的限制,再提出回應。以範文為例:I understand that train frequency cannot be increased overnight,承認加密班次涉及成本與時間,隨後的建議因為建立在理解之上而顯得合理。易錯之處是學生只寫投訴,把機構寫成完全不作為;批評若不留餘地,說服力反而下降。預先回應反駁,是議論文讓步段的書信版本,令建議更易被接納,這是成熟議論的標誌。
  7. 格式檢查讀者來信的格式有四件必備:Dear Editor 開頭、分段清楚、Yours faithfully 結尾、簽署全名。以範文為例:Chris Wong 全名署於結尾,無一項遺漏。方法是交卷前把四項當清單逐項核對,連同內文段落安排一併檢查。易錯之處是學生漏簽全名、只寫名不寫姓,或結尾語錯配;格式錯誤扣分明確而無可爭辯,是最不值得失的分數,兩分鐘的檢查可以保住這些分,格式清單應成為交卷前的固定動作。

5例題示範 Example

範文是投訴東鐵早上擠迫的讀者來信。拆解它「議題 → 事例 → 體諒 → 建議」的結構,和為什麼結尾用 Yours faithfully。

  1. 第一步:開首段一句定位:「express my concern about the severe overcrowding」——議題和影響(壓力、遲到)即刻講完。
  2. 第二步:第二段用親身事例做證據:大埔墟站等二十分鐘、車門差點關不上、有女生差點暈倒——畫面比空講「很擠迫」有力。
  3. 第三步:體諒反方:「I understand that train frequency cannot be increased overnight」——承認困難,令建議聽來務實。
  4. 第四步:建議具體分層:加密繁忙時段班次、錯開各校上課時間、擴闊月台加人手、同區學校共享時間表。
  5. 第五步:收尾:Dear Editor 不知姓名,所以用 Yours faithfully;再補「affects thousands of families」強調公共性。
  6. 答案:這封讀者來信是議論信範本。第一段開宗明義講議題(東鐵早上擠迫)和影響(壓力、遲到);第二段用具體事例做證據——大埔墟站等二十分鐘、車門關不上、女生差點暈倒、下雨天更嚴重。第三段先體諒港鐵「cannot be increased overnight」,再提四項務實建議:加密繁忙時段班次、錯開上課時間、擴闊月台加人手、同區學校共用時間表。結尾點出影響千家萬戶,促使編輯重視。格式上因為 Dear Editor 不知對方姓名,所以用 Yours faithfully。意見、證據、同理心、方案四樣齊全。

6常見錯誤 Mistakes

✗ Dear Editor, 之後寫親切
✓ Dear Editor, 之後要正式
✗ 講太多個人
✓ 圍繞議題,不要跑題
✗ Yours,
✓ Yours faithfully,
✗ 只反對
✓ 要講反方觀點再反駁

76 題快測 Quick check

Q1給編輯信開頭?

Q2內容?

Q3語氣?

Q4結尾?

Q5長度?

Q6目的?

8重點回顧 Recap

  • 給編輯的信公式:Dear Editor + 議題 → 證據 → 體諒 → 建議 → Yours faithfully。
  • Dear Editor 不知姓名,所以一定配 Yours faithfully。
  • 證據要具體:哪個站、等多久、見到什麼,畫面越真越有力。
  • 講一句體諒對方難處(cannot be increased overnight),建議才容易被接納。
  • 結尾拉闊格局:這件事影響多少家庭、多大社群。

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